Very funny conversational jokes between doctor and patient in English

Hilarious and funny Doctor and patient dialogues and short jokes in English to make your family and kids laugh. Here are some funny Doctor and idiot patient conversation lines for social sharing with your friends in facebook and whatsapp.

Patient: I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor: Didn't the new glasses help?
Patient: Sure, now I see the spots much clearer.

Patient: Doctor, Doctor.. Please help me.I think I’m invisible.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I cant see you now!!

Doctor: Liquor is a slow poison for you.
Patient: It’s all-right. I’m not in a hurry.

Doctor: What happened to you ?
conversational jokes between doctor and patient
conversational jokes between doctor and patient
Patient: I am going to die in a minute.
Doctor: wait, I am coming with in five minutes.

Patient: What is the cost of plastic surgery?
Doctor: It is near about 10,000$.
Patient: Well, what if we arrange the plastic?

Doctor: Have you ever fainted before?
Patient: Yes, the last time you told me your fees.

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday

Patient: Doctor, What Does The X-Ray Of My Head Show?
Doctor: Absolutely Nothing!

Doctor: Dont worry your health is fine. You'll live to be ninety.
Patient: But, doctor, I already ninety years old right now.
Doctor: See, what did I tell you.

Patient: Doctor Doctor.. I see stars before my eyes
Doctor: Have you ever seen a doctor before?????????????
Patient: No.. Just Stars!!!!!!! :D

Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.
Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?
Patient: I sure did - the bottle said 'keep tightly closed.'

Met any funny Doctors?? Share in your comments!!

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